Choosing Your Therapist
Embarking on your journey of healing and growth through therapy is a very personal decision and process. Choosing and matching with the right therapist is key to the unfolding of your therapeutic journey. What is most important to me is that you think and feel that I am a good fit for you and the work you want to do in therapy. My priority is that you are doing the work you need to do regardless if it’s with me as your therapist. If it’s not with me and with another therapist that’s okay. I will happily help you in your search.
Getting to Know You
During our initial sessions together I get to know you. Everyone has a story, and I genuinely want to hear your story when we meet, and to continue to hear your story throughout the course of our time together, however long or brief it is. I want to hear what brings you to therapy, what you hope to gain out of therapy, and how you came to be the person you are today.
Logistically, part of the process of getting to know you includes filling out an intake form and emailing it to me before we meet. Another part of the process of getting to know you may include taking a history, usually during the second session, which involves a lot of Q & A. Getting as much detailed information as possible helps me to help you the best. For non-sexual issues the history taking is typically completed in one session, whereas for sexual issues the history taking is typically completed in two sessions.
Expectations of Therapy
During our initial sessions together we talk about whether or not you have previously been in therapy, and if so what the focus of therapy was, what your experience was like, and what worked and didn’t work for you. We also explore your ideas of how the therapy process works, and clarify and set realistic expectations. I often humorously say that I don’t have a magic wand that I can wave that fixes your problems, or the problems of the world, but boy I wish that I did. Therapy is actually active and participatory work on your part where you are ultimately doing the work of growth and healing. I am there with you by your side all along the way using myself as a person and my training and expertise to support, help, and guide you.
Frequency of Sessions
The frequency of therapy sessions needed varies case by case. Traditionally, therapy takes place on a weekly basis. Attending sessions on a weekly basis typically creates a steady rhythm, momentum, and depth of exploration and developing awareness that leads to taking action to create the desired shifts people are hoping for within themselves, in their relationships, and in their lives. Some people may want to attend sessions on a weekly basis, but have to consider the realities of financial and time constraints and opt for bi-weekly or monthly sessions. Other people may opt for more than one session a week for instance if they are engaging in individual and couples work and want both an individual and couples session per week, need additional support, or are experiencing a surge of desired movement in their journey of healing and growth.
Duration of Therapy
The number of therapy sessions needed also varies case by case. The duration of therapy is largely based upon the nature of the problem. Traditionally, long-term therapy is needed to create lasting change for complex, deep-seated, and chronic patterns. Brief, short-term therapy is suited for simpler, less entrenched, and more transitory issues. Brief, short-term therapy is usually 16 sessions or less whereas long-term therapy can range anywhere from 17 sessions and months of therapy to a year or years of therapy.
Being Prepared for Sessions
Therapy works best when you come prepared and on time for your sessions. Being prepared means different things to different people. Some people find it useful between sessions to make a mental or written list of things that they want to talk about and work on to be ready for their sessions, and make the most use of their time. Other people may have no problem finding something to talk about and work on, and may come up with things spontaneously at the beginning of their sessions and throughout. Whatever your style, being prepared for your sessions matters, because therapy is an investment in yourself and your life, and you get out of therapy what you put into it.
What Sessions Can Feel Like
The work in therapy can be some of the hardest and most rewarding work that you do in your lifetime. Sometimes sessions feel good where you feel a sense of relief, cathartic emotional release, letting go, success, progress, understanding, hope, and more. Sometimes sessions feel not-so-good where you have thoughts that are uncomfortable to think and share, have emotions that are uncomfortable to feel and share, face memories that are difficult and painful to face, talk about experiences or behaviors that are difficult and painful to talk about, have yet to come to a place of understanding, are really entrenched in a pattern that’s repeating, exhausted, and more. But, this is to be expected, as this can be part of the process too. Both types of sessions where you feel good and not-so-good reflect good sessions and work that you are doing on your journey of healing and growth.
Analogies for Therapy
I often say that the therapeutic journey can be compared to opening Pandora’s box, being at a crossroads, or being in the middle of the woods in the thick of things. Ultimately, you are working to become the hero or heroine of your own journey where the happy ending is to rescue and save yourself and your life by unpacking what’s in the box, deciding which road to take at the crossroads, or discovering which direction to go in that leads safely out of the woods.
Linear vs Circular Process
The therapeutic journey isn’t necessarily a linear process with a straight upward trajectory of progress. It can be a process of taking two steps forward, then a step back, then two steps forward again, then a step back again, and so on. Sometimes what seems like backwards movement is actually part of the process of forward movement in therapy. It can also be a circular process. Often you will have a success with an issue you are working on in therapy, and the same issue will circle around again and again and again giving you the opportunity to become better and better and better, more skillful and effective, and even stronger in understanding, navigating, and managing the issue.
Resilient & Brave
Some people have the chance and decide to keep their first therapist as their only therapist. Other people find different therapists at different points in their life to work on different things. Some people may simply outgrow their therapists, or switch therapists due to finances or a geographical move. Whether or not I might be your first therapist, one of many, or one of a few I view embarking on your therapeutic journey for the first time, or continuing on your therapeutic journey at any point, as a sign of tremendous strength and courage, and as a gift you are giving yourself.